You Don't Understand
by legolasgreenleaf15
Summary: After running from a past she refuses to acknowledge, Daeris stumbles into members of the races she's come to hate. Will she face her dreaded past, or will the fears she's been running from swallow her up again? AU. Pre-Fellowship. Technically a one-shot that I broke up into two parts. Rating for mentions of being taken advantage of.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: I got the idea for this about a year ago. I wanted to challenge myself and make a character with a tragic backstory, but keep her out of Mary Sue land. Now, basically a year later, I believe I did just that. However, none of this would have been possible without the amazing manyscarletskies. If you want a good beta reader, I would recommend them in a heartbeat. Even if I would disappear for months, whenever I appeared again, they would be there to read what I had. Thank you so much.**

* * *

Rain fell from the darkened sky, landing on the thin material covering my hair. Keeping my cloak wrapped around me, I looked down, sighing to myself. Slick mud clung to the heels of my boots, but it didn't faze me. It always seemed to rain in Bree, which was fine with me. Despite how good the rain's despair made me feel, I glared at the men littering the road, daring them to cross my path.

I was in no mood to spill any blood tonight. In fact, all I wanted was to drink away my problems at the Inn. Unfortunately, due to my mixed blood, drinking myself into oblivion was hard, and I usually gave up trying to numb myself after a few pints.

Easing my way across the street, I met the stare of a man who seemed to enjoy hanging out in front of my sanctuary, causing him to take a step away from me. Striding past him, I pushed my way into the Prancing Pony.

As usual, the dull murmur of soon-to-be brawls filled my ears, causing me to grip the hilt of my sword. Hopefully none of the action would reach my area, because I wasn't sure if I'd be able to stop myself from joining in. Sauntering away from the noisier side, I moved to the counter, leaning forward in front of Butterbur.

Casting a small glance my direction, he murmured, "The usual?"

Digging a coin out of my pouch, I slapped it on the wood. "You know me well."

Looking across the bar, I froze and looked at the man seated a few stools down. The glint in his eyes looked eerily familiar, and I pegged him as the man from before. The way he grinned at me over his mug of ale both terrified and angered me. Maintaining eye contact, I struggled to keep my breathing even and my fists unclenched. Silently, I hoped he would keep his distance. I didn't want to start a fight in here.

"Here's your pint," Butterbur muttered, sliding my drink across the counter. Nodding my thanks, I grabbed the drink and walked away to find a table in the back. Choosing one that was far enough away from the brawls, yet close enough to the bar, I sat down and immersed myself in my ale. Knowing exactly how many it would take to even begin to feel the effects, I drained the mug and refilled it in minutes. Still sipping away, I noticed that the man was looking in my direction with that strange expression on his face. Lowering my mug a bit, I stopped drinking for a moment. When would he quit looking at me? I wasn't going to suffer the same fate as my mother.

His chair slid out from behind his spot at the bar. Glaring at him from beneath my hood, I tipped the mug back a bit, letting more of the vile liquid drain into my mouth. Watching his every move, I decided to be polite and set my mug down when I noticed him stop at the edge of my table.

"May I join you?" he asked smoothly.

Every fiber in my body protested to any contact with him. Shaking my head, I drained my pint, grabbing another coin out of my pouch. Placing it in my now emptied mug, I stood, pushing myself past him. "I'm afraid I'm leaving."

"Excuse me, but I don't think you're going anywhere," he grabbed my arm quickly, making me gasp. Leaning in closer, he smiled a toothy sort of smile. "I would like to get to know you better. What do you say?" Snaking his other hand around my waist, he started moving it along the small of my back.

Wrenching my trapped arm from his grip, I pushed him away from me. "Get off of me. You don't know what you've done. Now, get out of my way before I make you regret everything you just did to me."

To my surprise, he backed off immediately, giving me an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry. I must have gotten a little carried away. Evening then." Turning away from me, he winked, grinning too fiendishly for my taste, then walked away. Grabbing the mug, I set it down in front of Butterbur. "Thank you, for everything."

Nodding, he held my eye contact for a moment, his face unreadable, before looking down into the mug before him. I turned, walking out of the bar. I didn't expect to return. In fact, I needed to get away. Far away, but not to the East. The East didn't exist to me anymore. Somewhere South would work, at least until I decided what to do again. But I wasn't going back.

Walking out of the door, I made a quick left to the stables. I hadn't brought a horse with me, but that didn't mean I couldn't leave with one. Luckily for me, there were two of them tied up in the back. Quietly moving towards them, I didn't hear the sound of footsteps behind me. Before I could react, I was shoved against the wall. Looking deep into my eyes was the man from before.

"You aren't getting away from me that easily." Pushing my hood back, he gave me a sly smile, then leaned forward, roughly kissing me.

That snapped me to my senses. Not to me. This couldn't be happening to me too.

Driving my knee up, I made contact with his groin, causing him to stumble back in pain. Without hesitating, I grabbed my sword from my side, slicing his abdomen. Face contorted in agony, his arms fell from my sides to his. With a groan, he slumped to the ground.

Now, I'd done it. I had to leave immediately. Wiping my sword on my cloak, I sheathed my blade, and approached the horses. I knew one of them was Butterbur's, but I didn't know who owned the other one. Shrugging, I untied the unfamiliar one, got myself situated on her back, and then led her out of the stables. I led her to the gate, nodding to the gatekeeper. With a nod in return, he started to open the door. When it had been opened enough for me to get out, I shot past him.

I didn't look back.

* * *

I lost track of how many days I had been riding, but I knew it had been hours since I made my last camp, so it was probably time to give my borrowed horse a break. Slowing her to a stop, I dismounted swiftly, leading her off of the path so she could rest. I must have pushed her too much yesterday, a fact that was quickly becoming more evident as the day went on.

Then I heard the hoofbeats. Breathing quickly, I ran to the nearest tree I could find, climbing it as fast as I could. After pulling myself up to a point where I could eavesdrop and still be concealed, I crouched, looking out from my spot in the trees.

Two figures passed by me, neither saying a thing. One was a man, with scraggly dark hair. His posture was relaxed, but alert, as if he'd been trained to keep at least one eye and ear open at all time. Noticing a sword strapped at his side, I sucked in a breath. That was no guarantee he'd be a threat to me, but I couldn't be too sure.

Shifting my eyes to the other male, I froze, a burning sensation flickering in my stomach. Out of all of the races in the area, it had to be an elf. A skilled warrior at that, judging solely on his assortment of weapons. A bow was slung over his back, paired with a matching quiver stocked with arrows. Beneath his curtain of blond hair, I could see two matching daggers strapped to his back.

Curling my lip in disgust, I prayed that they'd move on and leave me alone. I wanted nothing to do with them. Unfortunately, my horse trotted out to greet them. Clenching my teeth to keep from cursing, I looked down at the two males, noting their astonished faces. Trying to back up to the trunk of the tree, my foot caught on a branch, throwing off my balance. Grabbing a different branch above my head, I managed to stay in the tree, but I alerted them to my presence. Hearing the elf draw an arrow from his quiver, I decided to drop down and explain myself in a way that wouldn't get my borrowed horse and me killed.

Landing easily, I turned to see the elf standing on the ground a few feet away, an arrow pointed at my head. The man stood beside him, his sword drawn. Lifting my hands above my head, I tentatively began to approach them.

"Who are you?" The man asked, his voice low, but not fully threatening.

Taking another step forward, I answered, "I'd tell you if I cared to remember." After hearing the elf pull the arrow a little tighter, I managed to say, "It's Daeris." After a moment, I asked, "Do I get the pleasure of knowing your names?"

"I'm Strider, a Ranger from the North. This is Delunir of Lorien." Strider nodded to his companion.

The elf didn't release any of the tension in his bow. "What are you doing out here?" His tone held more suspicion than that of the man's, and I was instantly reminded of my hatred for my kin. Glaring at him, I lifted my head a bit, refusing to answer him.

That clearly did not please the elf. He almost looked like he was really going to let the arrow fly, a fact that halted my movements. However, Strider stopped him, and asked, "What is your business out here?"

"I do not believe my business concerns the likes of you, but if you must know, I'm heading South. There is nothing left for me in the North." Judging it safe to keep moving closer to my horse, I couldn't help but add, "I don't see why your elven companion deems it to be fair to shoot me for trying to keep my business my own. I've made no attempt to grab my weapon."

Strider lowered his sword slightly. "Why will you not respond to him, Daeris?"

Wincing, I cleared my throat. "Please do not use that name. It, and your companion, are the reasons why I'm leaving the North. They remind me of too much."

"I have done nothing to you," the elf said, anger burning behind his eyes. "How could I do anything to you if I've never seen you before?"

Stiffening, I hesitated, but after a look from Strider, I stiffly replied, "It's merely the fact that you're similar to myself." Moving my hand, I revealed what I wished weren't a part of me. "I do not expect you to understand, so please, allow me to carry on."

After giving the elf a glance, Strider sheathed his sword and moved to look at my horse, who had wandered over to their horses. He inspected her for a moment, before looking up at me. "I don't know what you've done to her, but she can't possibly go on for long. Give her a while to rest." Turning to his companion, who was still intent on shooting an arrow through me, he said, "Perhaps we should join her. We've been traveling for a while by ourselves." Looking back at me, he smiled. "Maybe you could tell us more about yourself?"

"I would not share my story so readily to the likes of you." Moving a little faster, I made to get to my horse. Unfortunately, the elf stopped me.

"'The likes of you'? I would at least like to know what you mean by that." His tone less threatening than before, I noticed that he'd at least put his bow away.

Stiffening, I glared at him. "Perhaps I would feel more likely to explain without the Prince of the Woodland Realm in my presence. You for one would know nothing of my past."

Something flickered over his features, but it was gone so fast that I assumed it was never there. "How do you know me?"

"I make a point to learn the names and faces of those I hate. Makes it easier to know I'm hating the right person." Shrugging Legolas away from me, I slid around my horse, desperately keeping her in front of me. It seemed more likely that they wouldn't come after me if there was an animal in their way.

Cocking his head to the side, he looked at me with what seemed like sympathy. "Perhaps I might understand more than you give me credit. I may be a Prince, but that doesn't mean that I haven't had my share of suffering."

There was something raw in his tone that stopped me. I could feel my glare softening against my wishes, and with a voice more defeated than I'd have liked, I sighed, "Fine then. I'd love to prove to you how much you don't understand."

* * *

They let me lead my horse to water for a moment first, allowing me to think things through before they demanded my story. At least they were considerate enough to give me space to myself before I had to relive the very thing I'd tried so long to forget.

What was I going to say? Nothing much, if I could help it. They didn't need to know any specifics. Absentmindedly stroking my horse's back, I fought to keep my breathing even. All I needed to do was give them enough to get them off my case so I could be on my way. Giving my story a final check, I led my horse back to where they were waiting.

Strider gave me a sympathetic look, which I immediately hated. The last thing I wanted was sympathy. It was all I had gotten all those years ago, and it still made me sick. Narrowing my eyes into a glare, I hissed, "Don't start pitying me. I don't want any more of it."

Lifting his hands in surrender, Strider looked down. "I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"See? You don't understand. Why should I bother telling you anything if you can't even understand that I don't want your sympathy?" Perhaps I was a bit too harsh with my words, since Strider flinched a bit, yet as I remembered the man from Bree, any doubt I had melted instantly. I couldn't lower my guard.

Legolas met my gaze, and said, "I've shown you nothing as of now. Who's to say I don't understand? Besides, there's nothing wrong with sympathy."

Bristling, I turned to glare at him, but found truth in his words. Calming myself down a bit, I took in a breath. "My mother died when I was very young, and I never knew my father. A couple from Rivendell raised me, but lied to me, saying that they were my real parents. I believed them, until they told me the truth. Since then, I've put my trust in no one." Looking between the two of them, I hissed, "Does that satisfy you?"

Strider still looked sympathetic, but it was less noticeable than before. Besides, I didn't have it in me to snap at him again. I couldn't read Legolas's expression, but I didn't care. I told them what little I could bear without getting upset, and now they were supposed to let me go.

It was silent for a while, but then Strider looked up. "I don't doubt what you've said is true, but that isn't all of it, is it?" When I didn't answer, Strider went on, "You're not leaving until you've told us all of it. Something pains you, and talking about it will help."

"How would you know that?" I growled, turning to attend to my horse.

Legolas took a step towards me. "You don't know us as well as you might think."

I didn't like what he was suggesting, so I tried to change the subject. "How do you know I won't just leave in the middle of the night?"

Strider turned to his horse. "We don't, but if you care so much about your story, you'll stay with us. You are not so different from us as you'd like to think."

I could only stare at him, unwilling to let myself believe him. No one knew what I felt, or what I'd been through. They couldn't, especially not Strider. He didn't look like he had any elven blood in him, but what did I know anymore? According to my new 'companions,' I knew little to nothing.

"Come, it is getting late, and we need to find a suitable place to camp." Legolas turned to Strider and nodded, leaving me to follow behind.

Looking up, I felt my blood run cold. It was getting late. I didn't want to sleep anywhere near them. I would not share my mother's fate, not after she gave up on me. What they were doing must have been an act. No one was that kind. Scowling to myself, I promised myself that if they tried anything, I wouldn't hesitate to kill them. My mother had been weak. Luckily, I was not my mother.


	2. Chapter 2

I didn't offer any help setting up the camp, and they didn't demand anything from me. I couldn't understand why they wouldn't just let me go. They obviously didn't want me here, so why did they insist on keeping me captive? Frustrated, I turned to my horse, and murmured, "We could be halfway to Gondor by now, couldn't we?" Nodding her head in what I assumed was agreement, she shook out her mane.

"I would beg to differ." Strider called over. "She's exhausted." Sending him a withering glare, I opened my mouth to retort, but he silenced me. "True, we don't believe your story is complete, but at the same time, your horse can not go on for at least a few hours. Allow her time to rest." I closed my mouth, but Strider went on, "Whatever you're running from can't be more important than tending to your horse's needs."

Cheeks burning in shame, I turned away. Men were insufferable. If that Strider fellow even looked at me sideways now, he was a dead man.

I wasn't sure how long I had ignored them, but when I looked back over at them, they were sitting around a fire. Spread around them were a series of blankets, and to my dismay, I noticed they had laid one out for me. As if I would sleep near a man.

The two were in deep conversation, but neither even glanced in my direction, something I was fine with. They didn't even appear to want my company. Clearly, I was a waste of their time. Still, Strider's indirect warning about my horse kept me here.

The thought of my horse sparked a memory. She wasn't tied up. Looking across the clearing, I noticed the other horses had been tied, but my faithful companion was free at my side. Standing silently, I willed my stiff muscles to move. Feeling for the rope attached to my horse, I led her to a tree, and tied her to a lower branch. I was still reluctant to join the males, but there was nothing better for me to do without appearing suspicious. Climbing a tree was out of the question, because it would only appear as if I was trying to escape. Moving closer to the fire, I edged myself onto a rock located a good distance away, feeling myself go rigid as a voice addressed me.

"Glad you could join us," Strider said, his tone warm.

Lifting my face a little, I glared at him. "Keep your words to yourself. I have no desire to speak to either of you."

Legolas stiffened. "If you knew who he was, then you'd mind your tongue."

"Legolas, don't," Strider warned, his words starting to sharpen.

"Forgive me, mellon," Legolas said, ducking his head.

Silence fell over us like a blanket, but it was a blanket I welcomed. The less talking, the better. Finally, Strider stood. "I think I'll get some sleep. Will you take the first watch?" Looking up, I was about to argue, but then stopped. He wasn't asking me.

Legolas nodded, before prodding the fire with Strider's unsheathed sword. Watching Strider, I noticed he took the blanket furthest away from me. Smart man.

My mind wandering, I looked out into the surrounding forest, trying to contain my gathering rage. The moment Legolas's back was turned, I was going to try to run for it. Curse my history, and curse my horse. I was going to run the entire way to Gondor, and never look back. If I happened to die along the way, then at least I'd be out of my misery.

I was so deeply immersed in my thoughts, I failed to hear Legolas clearing his throat as he tried to get my attention. "Daeris." I also failed to hear him approaching me. Fingers grazed my shoulder, snapping me from my plans. Without thinking twice, I swung my fist in his direction, aiming for any part of my 'attacker.' Catching my wrist with one hand, Legolas used the other one to grab my chin and forced me to look him in the eyes. Traces of anger shone in his eyes. "What was that for? I was going to invite you over to the fire with me." After noticing my withering glare, he expanded on his offer. "You've been shivering for a while now, and it appears you haven't noticed."

Jerking my head away, I spat, "I'd rather be cold than spend even a moment with you."

"Didn't your mother ever tell you that it's rude to spit in someone's face after they considerately ask about your well-being?" I froze. Slowly standing up from my spot on the rock, I couldn't force my mouth to form any words. Instead, all I could do was gape at the blonde elf, disbelief, fear, and anger swirling around inside me. Legolas started to approach me, a cold look on his face. "Well? Did your mother not teach you anything?"

I was falling apart. Everything I'd known as a child was a lie. My 'parents,' the truth, the lies. It all came crashing down around me, shaking the rickety foundation that my current world had founded itself on. My pulse elevating, I could only stare at Legolas as my head throbbed, and my body shook. Anger swirled in my stomach, rising up my throat, and out of my mouth. Before I realized it, I had shouted, "SHE'S DEAD!" Sitting back down on the rock, I tried to put as much distance between me and Legolas as possible.

Silence fell over the clearing as Strider sat up, reaching for his sword. "What-?" His voice faltered as Legolas raised a hand in his direction, signaling for him to stop talking.

Strider ignored his friend and made his way to my side. Crouching down, he tried to put a hand on my shoulder. Flinching, I batted his hand away, tears starting to fall down my face. Curling up, I drew my knees into my chest, and buried my head in my lap, sobbing loudly against my will and better judgment.

I thought I had gotten over it.

Both of the men were on my sides now, Strider trying to get me to look at him, and Legolas awkwardly rubbing my shoulders. They were both attempting to help, but in reality, all they were doing was making me anxious. Opening myself up, I knocked them both away, then moved to the other side of the clearing. When I saw them trying to follow me, I held out my hand, my palm held in front of me. "Please don't. You're making this worse."

Strider held his hands up in surrender. "We'll stay right here." Motioning to Legolas, they both crouched down, sitting on the other side of the clearing. Looking at me with concern, Strider went on:"Please tell us what ails you. You don't have to suffer alone."

"It's true that you haven't known us long," Legolas added, his features much softer now than they were before, "but I promise we won't hurt you."

Slowly, I took up a hesitant stance from across the clearing, and took a breath. Maybe talking about it would help me, even if it were to two complete strangers. "Well," I started, wringing my hands together, "my mother was never around much, because she died when she had me." I couldn't bear to look at their faces anymore, so I closed my eyes. "It wasn't that my birth was strenuous. She just simply gave up on life, and died shortly after I took my first breath." Tears started spilling down my face.

I could hear Strider's voice, low and gentle. "If you need to stop, we understand."

Shaking my head, I wiped my eyes. "No, I need to talk all at once." My breaths starting to come shakily, I managed to say, "My mother was taken advantage of by a human male. She was well respected when she lived in Rivendell, but afterwards, she started to slowly give up." My breaths coming faster and faster, I pushed onwards. "Then she had me, and she gave up completely. I never knew my birth mother."

Legolas's voice was soft when he spoke this time. "Where did you go then? Surely you weren't abandoned."

Opening my eyes, I blinked the tears out of my vision and shook my head. "I was raised by an older couple in Rivendell. They had always wanted a child of their own, so when I was abandoned, they immediately volunteered to raise me." Smiling to myself, I blinked fresh tears out of my eyes, remembering the times before living with them had fallen apart. "They were the best adoptive parents I could have wished for. The only problem was they had lied to me about who my parents were. They wanted me to be their own so badly, that they told me I was theirs biologically." Sniffing, I sat down in a more comfortable position. "I believed them, until Lord Elrond told me the truth." I broke off, my voice reduced to a low whimper.

Across the clearing, Legolas and Strider looked devastated. Both of their faces were full of sorrow, but when they tried to approach me, I scooted backwards, shaking my head. Strider, confusion registering on his face, asked, "Why can we not approach you?"

"I fear all men, for I don't want to share my mother's fate. Elves, on the other hand, lied to me, so I have no love for them." Exhaling sharply, I hugged my knees. "I've hated both races for so long."

Both men fell silent. Refusing to look at them, I could only stare at my knees. I knew they probably wouldn't reject me, for that didn't seem to be in their nature, but I didn't want their pity. Even after I had told them so, they seemed to be the type to show pity.

Silence hung over us like a blanket, warm and smothering, before Legolas cleared his throat, ripping the blanket around us off sharply with the cutting sound. My eyes flicking up for a moment, I saw Legolas staring off behind me wistfully. "My mother died when I was rather young. I think of her everyday in the few memories I have of her." His eyes met mine, and I could feel his sadness. The sadness so similar to my own. "My father was never quite the same. There were days where he'd take time out of his day to spend a moment or two with me, yet on others he refused to look at me. I didn't know what to make of it all."

Strider laid a hand on his friend's back, looking at the ground. "My father died when I was very young as well. For a great deal of time, I lived with my mother in Rivendell. As the years went by, she grew older. After she perished..." His voice faded, his eyes growing more wistful.

Part of me felt relived. There were finally people who could understand the pain of losing a biological parent. Half of the weight pressed firmly on my chest for years of my life had lifted.

The other half of me couldn't be swayed. They couldn't imagine the fear I felt day to day, seeing men, fearing their hunger. Men weren't to be trusted, not when they took my mother and made me into something hateful and shameful. Elves took advantage of how little one knew, feeding him or her lies until turning the tables and revealing the cold truth. But as I looked at the two of them, I couldn't peg my brands on them. Aragorn had plenty of opportunities to take advantage of me, yet he kept his distance. He respected my boundaries. Legolas didn't seem like the type to lie about his mother's fate, or his father's behaviors. There was no way he could fake the grief he so strongly showed.

Maybe, like the way I found people who shared my grief, I could find people like Aragorn and Legolas. Ones who wouldn't take me against my will. Ones who respected my boundaries. Ones who were upfront about the truth.

Rising to his knees, Strider put up his hands, his palms extended. His movements didn't really bother me anymore, so I let him draw nearer. He extended a hand to help me rise, then guided me to where the fire was. Handing me a spare blanket, he murmured, "You should rest. It's late, and you've been through a lot."

Nodding, I mumbled my thanks, before curling up on the ground, laying the blanket over me. Through my sleepy thoughts, I could hear Legolas murmuring something about taking the watch followed by the scuffing of the ground a couple feet away from me. Shifting my head, I opened my eyes to see Strider's chest rising and falling as he fell asleep close to me. Rolling back over, I smiled to myself as I drifted to sleep. I had never slept better.

* * *

The next morning, as sunlight lit up my surroundings, I sat up slowly, rubbing my eyes. When I saw the man and the elf sitting across the clearing, smiling at me, I froze, forgetting where I was. When Strider offered me some of their breakfast, I immediately relaxed, accepting the food.

"So, what do you plan to do this morning?" Strider asked, his hand raising some food to his mouth.

Chewing slowly, I paused. I wasn't sure. I'd started to come to terms with the past I had little control over, but could I really go back and face the elves of Rivendell again? Where could I go? Both men and elves would have me on edge for a while longer. Shrugging, I avoided looking at their eyes.

Legolas, who was dutifully packing up blankets, spoke up, "You don't need to choose anything right now if you aren't comfortable with the idea of it."

That was the truth. It would be uncomfortable for me to jump back into life in Rivendell after spending so long away from it. Maybe if I could find a nice, small town to live in for a while, I could work my way back to the home of my mother. Finishing the last of my breakfast, I stood, and walked over to my horse. Looking back at the two I'd come to accept, I smiled. "Thank you for everything."

"If you ever need anything, you can always come to us." Strider said, smiling faintly. Legolas nodded in agreement.

My smile growing, I mounted my horse, turning out of the clearing. Where I was going, I wasn't exactly sure. Spurring her on, we flew out of the clearing. Looking over my shoulder, I could see Legolas and Strider watching as I left.

I had nowhere to go, but that didn't matter. I could roam the lands for as long as I wanted, or I could go back to Rivendell and forgive my adoptive parents. If I lived in isolation for the rest of my life, at least the bonds that kept me tied to the past had been severed.

All in all, I would move on, beating my way against the wind, finally feeling free.


End file.
